savoring the moments
At about this time every semester, I write on my blog about how much I love my classes and how I'm going to miss my students and how I'm feeling something like nostalgia in the present moment. I'm sitting in class, listening to students challenge one another to take more risks in their writing, to make themselves more vulnerable, to cut through all the bullshit and say something that really matters. And I wish I could bottle it. I'm beginning to realize that I don't really know what to do when I love something so much that I wish I could bottle it. I acknowledge how grateful I am to have the best job in the world. I tell my students how much I learn from them. I tell S. and my friends about these moments. And I write on my blog, knowing full well that many of my readers are probably going, come on, can it really be that good? I have been known to exaggerate.
But here's the thing. What makes it so great is how hard we've worked to push through the bullshit so many of us are so used to explaining our lives with. It ain't easy, let me tell you. Especially when you're 20 and 21 and 22 years old. So so so much easier to fall back on received wisdom to explain why you do the things you do.
I am so proud of my students this semester I could just burst. They make everything I do worth it.
Never thought I'd see the day when the problem I had with managing emotions was one of pride and happiness and respect. I'm not really equipped for times like these, but I'm having fun figuring it out.