how I know I'm officially old

I'm going to the doctor today about aches and pains in my shoulder that are killing me daily.

Backstory: When I was born, I was so big--10 pounds, 14 ounces--that they had to break my shoulder to get me out. Poor Baby Amy. Apparently when a newborn has a shoulder broken during birth (I'm assuming this doesn't happen regularly) nothing is done because newborns heal easily. The bones aren't set yet, et cetera. I only learned about my traumatic birth when I was 28, but FOREVER my right shoulder has been a source of discomfort. Massages help, so when I could afford one, I'd go. The pain had always been here and there, but lately I've been in pain EVERY DAY. Almost all the time every day. So I bit the bullet and called my doctor. He shall see me at 2:15 today. Wouldn't it be nice if he prescribed weekly massages that were then covered by insurance?

What a way to begin life, eh? That, and I had to be rushed to Hartford, CT from Holyoke, MA because my heart was beating WAY too rapidly. I was born traumatized and overly excited. Shocking, no?