rainy sunday depression
I've been thinking about the persona I've created on this blog, and I wonder if this post should have a little warning sign: Alert! Depression ahead! If you don't want to read about me wallowing pathetically in nothing, stop reading.
How could you stop reading with that teaser?
I'm feeling alone. Not lonely so much as just alone. I started to write out checks to pay the bills tonight and I had to stop because it just feels so goddamn overwhelming and then I begin to wonder if I'll EVER get ahead, and then I tell myself that I'm paying too much rent, I shouldn't be paying so much to live in a house when an aparment would be just fine. I wonder if I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, struggling to pay the goddamn rent and telling myself I don't really need to live comfortably, a roof over my head would be just fine. Any roof. Life seems like it's so much easier for non-single people. They don't have to pay everything on their own. And they have someone to come home to, to share their day with, to share the funny things with, and christ, I have this blog and my dog to share things with. And who do I share my worries with? Who tells me it's all going to work out?
Feeling sorry for myself. If it were a sport, I'd be MVP. All-star.
posted by aerobil @ 7:16 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Co-MVPs, that's us! Now, click on this link and say "Awwwwww" and you'll feel a wee bit better:
http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/AfricanSavanna/CheetahPhotoGallery/4.cfm
When I'm feeling sorry for myself (which is waaaayyy too often), I think something along the lines of:
"Well, at least I'm not Joan of Arc, burning at the stake." OR
"Well, at least, I'm not a SAHM who is dependent on a husband for her clothes, food, and shelter"
Or any other "worst case scenario" -- it just has to begin with "Well," [insert image of me shaking my finger at myself in admonishment].
I find that a glass or two of wine before bed helps, too bwhahahahha!
Post a Comment
<< Home