Friday night at the Normal Denny's

Yes, folks, this is what I do with my Friday nights. I spent two hours in Denny's tonight grading midterms and, I gotta say, I do love people-watching. The 20-year-old in the booth behind me was explaining to his younger brother Benny that he [the older brother] is addicted to apple juice and if the waitress asks him again if he wants more, then Benny ought to kick him and make him say no. Because he just can't refuse it on his own. The young father of three at the table in the middle is trying to teach his four- or five-year-old son how to do one of those puzzles where you have to draw all the lines of a squarish-looking object without lifting your pencil or going over the same line twice. "No, no, no. You just went over that line twice. You have to do it without going over the same line twice." And then there's the very heavy couple with their little teeny girl of about 3 or 4 who really, really has to go potty but the mom convinces her, by whispering something in her ear, to wait until they get home to go potty. "Lulu, the potties here are really, really gross," is what I imagine her saying. "But we eat here nonetheless."

They sure do move 'em in and out pretty darn quickly in Denny's. Guess I never noticed because I was too busy being moved out myself. Not tonight, boy. I got some grading to do and if I go home I'll just plop myself in front of the TV and tell myself I've got a whole week. And my friendly waitress didn't even charge me for the four gallons of diet Coke and the pot of coffee I drank.

Lulu, I used the potty 'cuz I couldn't wait until I got home.