how to get out of jury duty
Sit quietly through most of the questioning, but when the plaintiff's attorney asks you what you teach, be sure to get in the words "the study of argument," and when she then says, I see you were in Syracuse for a few years--as if it's a question--be sure to say that that's where you did your doctoral work. And the winters, they ain't pretty.
Then, after everybody else on the jury has told their tales of workmen's compensation and employment termination and their involvement in family businesses and you just want to die from the tedium, make a face when the plaintiff's attorney asks what she says is her last question--
This is a case involving an individual against a corporation. Under the law, a corporation is given the same rights as an individual. Does anyone have problems with that?
--and raise your hand. Cuz yeah, you've got some problems with that.
When she asks you to explain, tell her that the primary problem you have is that a corporation has more power than an individual so to equalize them under the law doesn't seem just. Then tell her about the movie The Corporation, that the movie is all about this very issue, the corporation being considered a person. Tell the court that what the movie does is psychoanalyze the corporation--if it's a person, it's got a personality--and what it finds is that with its lack of empathy, lack of sympathy, lack of concern for its effects on others, etc., the corporation is a sociopath.
When the defendant's attorney asks you if you think this will affect your ability to be impartial, tell her yes. You've sworn, after all, to tell the truth.
When the judge tells the court that you've brought to everybody's attention the notion that the best way to understand our own biases is to first admit that we've got them, nod your head and say, "yes, exactly." When he then asks you if you can set them aside for the purposes of this case, tell him that first you've got to say that you believe this is impossible, but you'll do what you can. But clearly the individual in this case is working with a headstart.
When you're standing in the elevator with one of the other people who've been excused from jury duty, and he asks you if you're really all that surprised, say "Um, not so much."
posted by aerobil @ 7:28 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
But...would it have been better to make that argument to the jury as the case unfolded? Hmmmm.
Also effective: when they ask you if you've had any experiences that bias your attitude toward police officers, answer affirmatively and then list family members who've been victims of police brutality, telling each one's story in detail. (at least that tends to get you booted in Butler County, Ohio. out of fairness, though, i think the prosecutor was going to kick me to the curb when he read the words 'English professor, Miami University')
When I was a grad student, the prosecuting attorney asked in a voice full of unctuousness, "Well, little lady, I see you are studying ancient history. What do you intend to do with that when you're done." Without so much as blinking an eye, out of my mouth flew the words, "Oh, my goodness, how positively marxist! Since when is an education not a means in itself? Why would I need to "do" anything with it?"
The lady in the shoe
I wonder what they'd say to someone who was a former lawyer before going into rhetoric and composition? Frankly, though, I don't think anything could be more effective than what you said about the movie. That was, as one person said, brillyant! I am curious, though. Why brillyant with a "y"? Is there something I don't know here? (Inquyring minds want to know!)
Reno
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