'twas a happy 4th

morning: dis.gust.ing.ly humid and hot hot hot at the dog park. But good nonetheless to see the crew after a late night at the Peoria Chiefs baseball game and fireworks. My question while at the game, which no one seemed to enjoy but me: If Cubs are little bears and these guys are the little Cubs, what does that make them? The preferred answer is preemies, but I'm the only one who thinks that.

afternoon: 4th of July party at the McBrides, complete with the annual game of 16-inch softball. The weather was much less humid up in Chenoa, the game was fun (my team won), and the company was delightful. Did I mention that the beer was really good? Oh, and the parade was nothing less than a slice of Americana. With clowns who shoot water at you. Huh. In my day, that kinda thing never happened.

evening: Bloomington fireworks. I found out yesterday that my landlord lives practically in Miller Park, where the fireworks were, and I knew he was having a party, so I crashed it with Belly. Met new people and watched the beautiful though unsynchronized (there was apparently music, but only if you'd brought your radios along with you) fireworks display.

See, I've been trying to make this post a bit more upbeat than those others where I write about shooting myself and Belly licking up my brains. Cuz a couple of friends were apparently concerned. But this'll make you laugh:

At the Peoria Chiefs game on Monday night, I bought a fountain soda. After the woman gives it to me, I'm looking around for a straw but can't find any. So I ask for one. She shakes her head and tells me they're not allowed in the ball park.

Me, as though I completely understand: Oh, so that people don't kill themselves with them?

It was an immediate response and it made perfect sense to me: I pictured an unlucky person taking a sip from his straw, and the ball being fouled right to his head, the straw going down his throat and choking him to death.

She: No, it's so people don't throw them on the field.

Why would people throw straws on the field? An unlikely story. I like my explanation much better. Death by straw. There's something you don't hear everyday.