what I'm learning

Taking a course on cultural trauma less than a year after one begins dealing in any substantial way with one's own traumatic past might very well be the cause of, oh, I don't know, a little bit of depression. Raise your hand if you noticed that on the blog in the past six months. One of the things I'm--er, one is--realizing is that that course functioned to justify my willingness to give it all up when things aren't going my way. I never expected to make it this far; I should be happy that I did. Fuck it. That's how the reasoning goes. When I was in Florida this summer with Tropical Storm Alberto and we got notices under our doors about what to do in case of evacuation, I thought, shit, who cares? Just make sure someone takes good care of my girl.

This is the line that will stick with me from that course: Kai Erikson writes that "traumatized people calculate life's chances differently."

But the good news is that these days I'm really feeling good. If I say it's in large part because I met someone, I'm afraid I'll jinx it, but well, one met someone. If you want to know more than that, you'll have to call me, keeping in mind that all calls on the weekends are free.