when stuff happens to your face

How's that for a title? I'm going for curiosity in my readers.

Only because there are two things that happened in the last few days that affected parts of my head, literally.

First, S.'s dog Scully is the most potent farter in the entire world. I don't have the words to describe just how deadly her farts are except to say that when one hits my face, I feel like I've been punched, like my nose hairs have all been burned to a crisp, and I have to run out of the room regardless of what I'm doing at the time.

Second, last night in class the grad students brought in fixins for us all to make our own sandwiches, and I chose the white bread. Um, the "country" white bread--because we all know that putting the word "country" in front of the words "white bread" makes it healthier somehow. Anyway, it was the best sandwich I've had in a long time. And the thing that happened to my face: the pasty white bread was sticking to my teeth and to the roof of my mouth. And I LOVED it. I gotta get me some of that country.

The last thing that's been happening to my face is WRINKLES because I'm so stressed out and exhausted. Why? Because I assigned WAY TOO MUCH writing in my undergrad rhetoric class. Gotta remedy that somehow. Belly, can you come help with this grading stuff?