oh, a little clarification
That's all.
1. I am not, nor do I ever plan to be, pregnant. COOKING for two, not EATING for two. Let it be known to all who read this that no offspring shall ever sprout from this body with its depressed, overweight, mildly obsessive genes.
2. S. and I are not living together. We're eating dinner together more because I've had time last week and this week to cook things more complex than a frozen pizza. I'm actually reading recipes and using spices in interesting ways--something I've never really done.
3. I don't really know how two people live together. I mean, I understand the logistics, but I don't really get the day-to-day stuff. That'll take some working on. It's the merging of two very separate lives that I can't envision. This isn't to say that it's never gonna happen, just that it's gonna be all completely new to me. Which brings me to a reflection on one of the things that holds me and my oldest friends together: none of us had any kind of model for what a healthy marriage looks like.
4. I've found the cleanest coffee pot in the whole world. You know how the plastic gets stained so easily and the pot itself always has streaks of brown (no, not your underwear, the coffee pot)? Well, this weekend I bought a new coffeemaker at Macy's--a brand I'd never heard of: Russell Hobbs. And there's something about the plastic on this thing that makes it sparkling clean every time. No stains here. I'm loving it.
5. I love babies. Anyone who knows me also knows this. I just don't want them to live with me (see 3, above).
6. I'm kinda happy. If I could just get those two damn articles published, I'd be even happier. Dang.
7. Tonight's dinner is filet mignon with a dee-licious tomato sauce topping. I know it's dee-licious because we had it last week and I couldn't stop exclaiming how good it was with each bite. Yummers.
posted by aerobil @ 8:00 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Now, that's what I call clarity. You have to admit, though, that either (a) aerobil's pregnant or (b) S is moving in with aerobil is a whole lot more interesting than (c) aerobil's trying her hand with cooking.
Just because two people stay together in a state of matrimony for 41 years (as did my parents), it is not the fact that one should presume they were role models for a healthy marriage. In fact, just what IS a HEALTHY marriage?
Tis said that one has to love oneself in order to love another. In other words, you have to like yourself enough to be able to forgive yourself for being a slob and falling short of perfection in order to put up with the other slob who is equally short of perfection.
The tricks are a) do not compete with each other; b) give each other space and do not become joined at the hip; c) have your own separate friends and credit cards; d) do things on your own, too. All this in addition to having joint friends and shared activities.
My stepson has lived together with a woman for 26 years without benefit of wedlock, because they did not feel the urge to procreate, ergo they did not see any sense in marriage. Age and disabiliies changed that a couple of years ago. Now he is married and is miserable--his expectations changed! The ring matters!
All that adds up to: don't submerge yourself and your personality in another person, or expect it of someone else. It doesn't work.
Shoe
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