so so grateful Annabelle is not a child

Today Hillary told me that, on more than one occasion when she was watching Annabelle for me, my dog growled at her children. She didn't want to tell me, in fact she shielded me from this information because she knew I'd be moving away and wouldn't need her to watch Belly anymore and she knew that it would kill me to know that my dog caused her kids even the slightest fear. Tears came to my eyes and, like the good friend she is, Hillary immediately changed the subject and told me a story about her mother so that I could have time to compose myself on the phone.

What kills me is this feeling of being resposible for another being's actions. I mean, I know I'm not responsible for Annabelle's actions--what she chooses to growl at, what and who she chooses to protect--and I know that she can be very much the equivalent of a BRAT. But all the same, I feel responsible, and I wanted to get off the phone with Hillary and go scold Annabelle for growling at Regan and Nolan. And then I imagine what it must be like for a mother to learn that her child has done something really wrong. I know I can't really imagine it because as soon as I try to, I collapse emotionally. I could never do it. And I know that most children don't do things that are really really wrong, but even if my kid got into a fight at school or something, I'd feel so responsible.

Never never never having kids.