This is not a Belly blog

Ever since I told people in my department here at ISU about this blog (it's been all of two days now), I've been the recipient of a little bit of shit about this being a Belly blog. Indeed, Belly is one of the main characters, but let me be clear about the function of this blog:

Lyings: Amy tells stories that sometimes--okay, often--have Annabelle as a featured player
and
Tirades: Amy complains about being fat, having no life, having one date in two years, and the sometimes frigid weather here in Normal, IL
and
Fears: Amy relates her fears of being fat, having no life, never going on a date again, and not finding Brach's candy hearts in the stores
Oh my: Amy receives comments on such Lyings and Tirades and Fears that make her realize just how good she's got it here in the prairie state and how many funneeee friends she's got elsewhere

Today's feature story indeed involves the beast. I've figured out why I can no longer take naps. Prime napping time is around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, just about the time when the mail carrier delivers postal presents to the house. Belly, sleeping on the couch, hears the mail carrier approach the house and lets loose with what Auntie Julia calls Belly's orange alert yell. This orange alert would scare the bejesus out of people three blocks away--never mind me in my cozy bed down the hall. Napping is out as long as I live in the house with the mailbox so close to the front window. Sigh.