I'm not worried about you
How many times in my life have I heard this? It's a backhanded compliment--I'm not worried about you because I know enough about your work, your interests, your writing, and your work ethic to know that you'll eventually pull through and wow us. Or if not wow us, you'll at least be okay.
I just emailed a grad student and told him I'm not worried about his being able to figure something out. Yesterday I was talking tenure with a colleague who told me she's not worried about me.
I guess it's good to know that people have faith in me. Perhaps if we changed the language a bit and told those we had faith in that, well, we have faith in them rather than saying we're not worried about them. I believe in you. Too active? Too complimentary? To say we're not worried is pointing out a lack. To say we believe in someone is saying there's something there: belief.
Who do we worry about? Is telling someone we're not worried about them also a way of saying that there are those who we do worry about? An implied comparison?
posted by aerobil @ 7:45 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
When someone says they're not worried about me, I feel like maybe I'm not being taken seriously...or that I'm being taken for granted...
It's often said to be reassuring, but in fact we *do* want to be worried about, at least a bit. Perhaps I'd rather hear, "Let me know if I can do anything to help..."
And yes, there is an implied comparison. Like an elementary classroom--the kid making noise gets the attention. Three you go.
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