I'm no longer an IKEA virgin

When we were parking at IKEA, I told Keita that I was excited that I'd no longer be an IKEA virgin. Then when we walked in, there was a huge sign that said, "It's okay to be an IKEA virgin." That made me feel better. I bought some chair pads and some fly swatters. Big spender, I know.

Keita lives in Stafford, VA, a suburb about 30 miles south of DC. Her neighborhood is one out of the movies. All the houses are the same, they've all got fenced-in yards with a monster wooden play set for the kids, they've all got 2.5 kids and 1.3 dogs. Fun to visit, but it would drive me craaaaazy.

On Saturday we went to the beach. For some reason, there were ladybugs EVERYWHERE, which Alexis, age 7, just loved. She'd collect them on her hands and come over to me and Keita and tell us to look at the six ladybugs on her hands. At one point I walked down to the water with Trevor (age 3) and before I walked away, I told Lexi she should name the ladybugs. While I was gone, Keita told me that Lexi said that the first one to walk, she'd name Walker. And this other one on her thumb, she'd name Itch.

Keita: And she didn't even see the humor in it.

Keita takes Trevor up to the bathroom and I'm sitting on the beach blanket with Lexi, who's immersed in her ladybug kingdom. Then she points out to me that one seems to be giving the other one a piggy back ride. I'm a bit confused because, well, since they're called LADYbugs, I had just assumed...but then again, they've got to reproduce somehow.

Keita comes back and Lexi shows her the conjoined ladybugs. Keita gives me a puzzled look. I shrug my shoulders and say, "They reproduce somehow, right?"

Keita, to Lexi: Flick them off. That one on top might be having a seizure.

It was all I could do to not die laughing.

Sallie the 11-year-old dalmation was my Annabelle substitute for the four days I was there. Sweet, sweet, sweet. The minute you show her any attention, she gets down on her back, all four legs dangling in the air, and puffs out her belly for you to rub. Perhaps SHE should've been named Belly.

And so far, knock on wood, Annabelle hasn't punished me for going away. Stefanie took very good care of her, that much was clear. Christ, she took Belly to the park at 7:00 on a Sunday morning, the day I came home. That's love and devotion.

More to come. I'm so happy to be home.