fail fail fail

Words fail. Blogs fail. Inaction. There's not a goddamn thing we can do.

So S.'s dad lies in a hospital bed in North Carolina, struggling to breathe, ready to leave this world, and there's nothing we can do but wait.

I'm back in IL, S. comes home tomorrow, and we will both be waiting for a phone call in the middle of the night or the wee hours of the morning.

That trip to NC was the hardest experience of my life. Words fail and cliches get in the way and I'm too tired to tell stories, so let's just say that I will have a whole boatload more sympathy for students whose grandparents are dying.

Aside from my own father, who died when I was just 4, I've never had to deal with the death of a loved one. Remember all those times I wondered what it meant to be a grown-up? I think I know now.