the ex is getting married
Milestone. One that's been written about millions of times before, surely. Al is getting married next August, and now I feel like a spinster.
I've been thinking lately about the things we tell ourselves and the ways that our emotions persuade us. Depression, for example, as argument. Logically, I know that Al getting married is not at all a reflection on me or my worth. But, tending as I do toward depression, I convince myself that this means there's something wrong with me. Again, logically I know that it has nothing to do with me. What I'm interested in is how I've managed to convince myself that this has anything to do with me or my single-dom or the pathetic possibility that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. See, the little voice inside my head says, even Al is capable of finding a life partner. There's obviously something wrong with you if you can't.
It ain't pretty inside this head sometimes.
posted by aerobil @ 8:40 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I remember the night Janet asked me to marry her, at my 33rd birthday party. My ex was there, and she seemed upset. I learned later that she told her then-partner, "Why wouldn't she marry me?" (Wouldn't you have loved to be *that* person? Yikes.) A) Because my ex repeatedly asserted that she didn't believe in marriage, B) she never asked, and C) we were miserable together!
My point (and I do have one): you're right. We all do this to ourselves. And it's completely irrational. And that's okay.
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