happy birthday to the Hillary

Hillary hates birthdays. Hates them. One year she visited me in Syracuse on her birthday and she met Tobi and Tracy when we all went to this little crafty Christmas fair. Tobi found out it was Hillary's birthday, so wished her a happy one, and Hillary scowled at this woman she'd known for all of a half hour. Um, Hillary, you can only do that with friends you've had for years, not with new acquaintances. What? Oh. Thank you, she says to Tobi.

So now that I'm wishing her a happy birthday publicly, she just might throw things.

Psst. We're the same age now.

What I love about my friend Hillary, who has known me since I was ten years old and wouldn't've smiled if you paid me: a list

1. Excess. When Hillary does something, she does it times five thousand. Baking an apple pie? Hillary bakes three. Wondering how much spaghetti to make for two people? Just make the whole box.
2. She takes no shit from sales people. When I buy a car next, she's coming here to help.
3. She FUNNEEEEEE.
4. She sometimes likes to pretend she's an ostrich. Shhhhhh! Quiet! I'm sticking my head in the sand.
5. She is raising two of the best kids I know. They're smart, sweet, thoughtful, funny as hell, conscientious, diligent, and loving. Plus they're gorgeous.
6. I'm not sure if this is something I love so much as I laugh at: when Belly comes to visit, Hillary treats her like she's--gasp--a dog.
7. She asks for my book recommendations, which means I get to shape part of her world.
8. She's an incredible artist. My entire house is decorated with Hillary-made items. I still love the moment when I was living in Syracuse, where I also had all kinds of Hillary-made items in the house. She looks around, eyes wide open in horror, and says, "My own private hell."
9. We've been friends for 23 years, which means we've witnessed oh, JUST A FEW changes in each other. JUST A FEW. Christ.
10. I saved the best for last: Hillary's my best Scrabble friend in the whole world.

Happy birthday, my friend.