S. writes verse

He composed this on Sunday, the morning after the Cubs collapsed. He recited it to me Sunday night, and I had to smile and have a meta-moment: how fun it is to live with someone with such a great sense of humor. I offer it here, unedited, for your pleasure.

Homage to a Total Collapse

The corner of Clark & Addison
was jubilant that day
the Cubs had won the Central
with two more games to play

We apologized for all our doubts
for only expecting the worst
for God, in his mysterious ways
had put the Cubs in first

The goat that gave birth to the World Series curse
the cat, the Gatorade glove
Bartman with only five outs away
could never dampen our love

Our lovable losers were always there
for 81 games a year
to entertain first and then break the hearts
of the fans who held them dear

On a cold October night in 03
& the North Side fans in heaven
three games to two & now we’re back home
with Prior for game six & Wood for seven

Then fate stepped in when the Marlins won
& the Cubbies were shown the door
but we held on to hope that wouldn’t die
for next year was 2004

So we crossed our fingers & prayed to God
that this is finally the season
but after finishing the year losing 7 of 9
we cried & searched for a reason

05 had only a glimmer of hope
as our roster looked pretty lame
the Sosa purge was our complete off-season
after he ditched the last 04 game

The Orioles offered Tejada for trade
the price being Prior or “Z”
but Hendry also demanded Bedard or Cabrera
& the transaction would never be

No big moves were made this off-season
but Hendry was laughing with glee
for Prior & Wood would be healthy all year
& pitch like they did in 03

But both our aces got hurt as we know
their Achilles & elbows broke down
& some of our fans bemoaned the trade
that would have brought Tejada to town

05 stumbled on as we watched in denial
the Sox helped us live all our fears
their championship drought was over at last
& our bleacher bums cried in their beers

06 was over by opening day
Hendry’s hope again in Prior & Wood
but the usual happened to both of our stars
& the teams played as bad as the could

Although Dusty’s welcome was over that year
we can’t blame the woes all on him
the pitchers were going down one at a time
and now fingers pointed at Jim

Hendry did little to aid our dear Cubs
& it came back to bite one & all
when we looked at the standings at the close of the year
we knew it would be a long Fall

Now Dusty was gone & we counted on Lou
but Hendry was now just beginning
he re-signed Ramirez & brought Fonzie & Floyd
& now he was talking ‘bout winning

More was to come like DeRosa, Marquis
Ward, Fontenot, Kendall & Lilly
& anyone picking us other than first
was thought to be rather silly

With “Z” starting slow & our hitters not hitting
our new players adjusting to town
hopes were extinguished like flames in the rain
our smiles one collective sad frown

But Lou finally pulled a tirade one day
his ejection brought a jolt to our team
the hits started coming, the pitching was good
& we were starting to realize our dream

“Z” woke up after a fight with Barrett
& for two months was pitching “lights out”
the good play kept coming, the wins piling up
& we lost all our traces of doubt

Now August was making us nervous all month
the Brewers & Cards on our flank
the same question arose in everyone’s thoughts
would we win or just go in the tank?

But the bats woke up in September again
& the Cardinals had started to drop
it was now only us & the team to the North
who we knew would eventually flop

Fonzie caught fire, the pitchers were stout
& we sped past the Brewers at last
with one week to go in this magical year
the curse seemed to be in the past

Again we were bitten by the team from 03
as the critics delighted with doubt
but with help from the Padres & our rivals the Cards
the Brewers went tumbling out

First place at last after only four years
we would now crush the Champs of the West
our Cubbies would be the first to win three
the D-Backs maybe one game at best

But the Cubs showed up having forgotten their bats
tho “Z” matched Webb ball for ball
then Lou yanked “Z” cause he needed his rest
& we’d end up regretting this call

Now Marmol was in, we relaxed just a bit
for all year he had kept our leads going
but after one inning the D-Backs had won
from a homer that flew like a Boeing

Okay, that’s their win, now we’ll take it in four
with Lilly we know there’s a good chance
but that night was different, as he looked like a man
who was scared that he’d pee in his pants

Soto’s dinger might save us, but Lilly was bad
& Lou left him in way too long
at the end of the night we had lost 8-4
now three wins in a row or we’re gone

Back home to Chicago, where we’ll win three & four
Arizona’s walking into our trap
however, that night, we learned a good lesson
that you don’t win while playing like crap

Our boppers did nothing but swing at each pitch
whether it looked like a strike or a ball
at the end of the night we had lost 5-1
three games caused our season to fall

I give our opponents the credit they’re due
as they took the field ready to play
their pitching was good & they scratched for their runs
and won all three playing their way

All year the Cubs fought, like each game they would win
and we knew we’d compete for each game
but for three nights in October, to everyone’s shock
they played so incredibly lame

O’ somewhere they’re laughing & drinking Champagne
corks popping & good cigars smoked
but that won’t be happening at Wrigley tonight
as our Cubbies have once again choked!