at the end of the day

A gem of wisdom last night from, of all places, Grey's Anatomy. I know, I know, should I really be living my life with respect to the cliches and commonplaces of this mediocre television show? Well, no. But. It got me thinking. Meredith, in her voiceover at the end of the show, says something along the lines of, you know you're with the right person when you can say that, at the end of the day, you come home to the person you most want to talk to.

About a week ago, S. was reading my blog with me standing over his shoulder (oh, that's ripe for analysis, ain't it?) and commented on how I haven't written about him lately. "In fact," said he, "I think I'll go through and count how many times I've appeared on the blog." He was kidding, of course. But it got me thinking about why I haven't blogged about him very much and I think that that, combined with the relative lack of things to write about lately, leads to an insight about the ways that this blog has functioned for me.

It has served as a way for me to maintain contact with people, as a way to share things at the end of the day, even if that meant sharing things with a computer screen rather than a human being. Now that I'm sharing more of my day-to-day stuff with S., I'm finding myself more at a loss for what to write here. This is not to say, of course, that I won't continue blogging--I love my blog. But I don't want to write about S. in ways that compromise what we have together. Cuz it's really, really good. This summer I was complaining to a dear friend about being single. He asked me what was wrong with the men I'd met. "They're stupid." "You don't need smart. You need someone who's gonna be good to you." Lest you read this as a comment on S.'s intelligence, don't. He's smart and articulate and still so willing to see things from different perspectives without needing to defend his position (which I can't always do). Instead, read this as a comment on S.'s goodness. He is a good person and he is an even better man.

At the end of the day, I've somehow managed to find someone I'm eager to talk to, someone I can't wait to share the details of my day with, someone who makes me laugh, someone who is so so good to me. I can only try to be so good.