Friday, December 19, 2008

ice storm 2008

The frozen birdfeeder with perfectly formed icicles. This is what those lights are going for at Christmastime, the ones that hang from the roofs of houses. Poor birds. Guess their lunch is gonna be a bit soggy.

Yesterday afternoon, about 5, Hillary calls me and says, "The old lady in me wants to know about your weather."

I say, "The old lady in me wants to know where the hell this damn killer ice storm is. It was supposed to be here at 3. We canceled plans for tonight, and it's not here yet. I'm waiting...."

I love love love dramatic weather. I was so hoping S. wouldn't have to go to work today, but he did. I made him call me when he got there, then I promptly went back to sleep. The girls and I just took a walk around the block and it's not so bad. Kinda pretty, actually. Except when we walked under a tree dripping from the weight of its icicles. We all got a wee bit wet.

Yesterday after I used my new Kitchen Aid mixer for the first time, I called my friend M. and said, "I see the world differently now." Damn, that thing is awesome. Makes me want to make stuff all day long. Except then I'll weigh 400 pounds and we all know that ain't good. So give it away! Pound cake, anyone?

Monday, December 15, 2008

walking 2 doggies in below-zero weather

Materials you'll need:

2 big black doggies
2 leashes with pinch collars attached
2 pup lights
4 safety orange booties
just a pinch of the patience of a saint

To prepare:

Lock one very young ADHD dog in the bedroom so that you can get the other one ready in her booties. Do what you can not to laugh at her. She's too cute.

Bundle yourself up so that you can barely move. And you're on your way.


Monday, December 08, 2008

start those little girls young

WTF? So S. and I reading through all the Sunday paper ads and as I'm reading the Sears ad, I see that they're now marketing a washer-dryer TOY for kids under the name "My first Kenmore." For boys, there's a "My first Craftsman" workbench with all kind of tools and stuff, and it actually looks fun. But the picture of the girl shows her folding a goddamn towel. Look at this product. While I can see the possiblities for fun that a kitchen holds for a little girl and her friends--there's actual creativity and play involved in pretending to cook and bake things--I fail to see how a washer and dryer inspires any kind of creativity or play. Or how it does anything but persuade young girls that they should enjoy folding towels while their brothers are over there building cool birdhouses or something. FOLDING TOWELS. Did I mention that the little girl in the picture in the Sunday ad is smiling while she's FOLDING TOWELS? MOFO.

S. tried to think up a scenario in which this could be a good thing. Maybe there are some little girls out there whose parents are in the laundry and dry-cleaning business who want to be just like their parents. Um, honey, they probably get to go to work with mom and dad all the time. It was a stretch, but that's S. Always looking for the good.

Me, not so much. FOLDING TOWELS, for god's sake.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

MOFO roofers

We finally have a new roof on our house, after weeks of trying to get the contractors to do what they said they were gonna do, to SHOW UP when they said they were gonna show up. I have VERY LITTLE TO ZERO patience for people who don't follow through on what they say they'll do. It's probably my biggest pet peeve. Anyway, the roof is finally finished, and today is the first day that our lives will be somewhat back to normal. The dumpster is still in our driveway, which means we don't have access to our garage when it's been snowing and sleeting lately. Not good. But the dogs can stay home today and sleep to their little hearts' content.

If you're looking to have a roof replaced in the Central Illinois area, don't use Messing. They'll sell you with their great customer service up front, but once they get their down payment and the loan papers signed, you're pretty much on your own to figure out when they'll show up.

Grrrr. Amy pissed.

Friends tell me that this is typical of contractors. I once wrote about my mother's inability to understand that whenever she showed up 20 minutes early for a doctor's appointment, that meant she'd be waiting AT LEAST 40 minutes to actually get into the exam room. Now I feel like I've become that person, except the context is home contractors. My limited experience, though, has taught me pretty quickly not to believe much of what they say.

Gotta go warm up my car now. Grrrr.