the line that keeps haunting me this week
From Seymour Krim's essay "For My Brothers and Sisters in the Failure Business":
I have never really learned how to live. I improvise--and fuck up anyway.
I have never learned how to be. I don't know how to allow myself to lounge around the house doing nothing. I don't know how to not think about the work I should be doing. I don't know how to live for right now rather than for vague moments in the future that may just never come.
I'm at school in my office as I write this. It's the third day of spring break. I'm here working on my CCCC paper, but if I wasn't working on that, I'd be working on something else. I don't know how not to.
Last night after Julie's birthday dinner party (it was soooooo good), I came home a bit tipsy and lay on the floor with Belly, playing tug with her, giving her lots of pets and thinking the entire time that maybe this is what it means to just be.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if I stop thinking about all the work I have to do, I might think about other things that are just no fun.
Back to the paper.
posted by aerobil @ 8:07 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
If we could just merge your work ethic and my play ethic, we'd have one fabulously well adjusted human being. Of course, as Wallace can warn us, such combinations often have unfortunate side effects. Imagine Amy-Soo, the woman who loves to eat when under stress and laughs really, really loud. (shiver)
I can't decide which is better:
I need silence, no radio, no tv. Just a good book maybe. The noise interrupts my anxiety process.
Al on the other hand needs backround noise 24/7 (music blaring while up and around, tv on until he's asleep or while he's at work on the computer)something to KEEP him from being alone with his thoughts.
Neither of us knows how to just be
Post a Comment
<< Home