conversation snippets

Snippet the first:

person at school: It's summer. Why are you here?
Me: Because it's summer.

Snippet the second:

J: How often do you wash the dog?
Me: I dunno. Most labs should only be washed twice a year because of their skin.
J: Twice a year? Why doesn't your dog smell?
Me: Do you mean her breath or all of her?
J: All of her. The dogs I live with smell.
Me: Dunno. Does it smell like dog in my house?
J, and others: No, that's the thing. Your house doesn't smell like dog.
J: So, how often do you wash her?
Me: Three or four times a year because she likes to roll in stinky stuff.

This occurred to me later: perhaps she likes to roll in stinky stuff because she's afraid she doesn't smell enough like dog.

Snippet the third:

Belly's being all snuggly and lovable as I'm sitting in my living room talking with D., a grad student whose essay will appear in the book.

D.: I'd get a dog if I knew it'd be like that.
Me, petting the snuggle snuggle bug, who only does this when other people are around: This took me five years to get. Five years.

To steal a line from Jo Ann Beard, I said that last part in italics.