and they're off

We leave today for North Carolina and Massachusetts without our girls and that part is killing me. Last night when we were watching TV and talking about how much we're gonna miss those stinkers, they start barking barking barking at people walking by, and I say to S., "ya know, it will be kinda nice to get away from that for a bit." He says, sure, but the minute we're on the highway, you're gonna be crying about how you miss them. My response: I'm allowed to have mixed feelings. So there.

I sure showed him.

My hun bun FINALLY got a new position at State Farm. He'll now be working in Death Claims. He's always said he wants a one-name name like The Reaper, and that's how he told me he'd gotten the job. He texted me: I am The Reaper! (yup, we now text cuz we're hip like that). He was a bit late coming home that day and I was visiting with Sam and Lucky when he came into the house carrying a big plastic scythe. Probably not a good idea to take that into work with him.

It'll be so good to get away from work for a while. I need to stop thinking about all the things that aren't getting done. Leave them here, on this blog.

Instead, look forward to the fun reading in my bag. And a sunflower bagel from Lexington, MA. Yummers.

no trip to Massachusetts

too many expensive and time-consuming things happening at once

1. Belly needs to have part of that damn dew claw removed, which means sedation or anesthesia, which means recovery time and probably antibiotics
2. my car needs front brake pads, which will be a couple hundred $$$
3. number 1 will also cost a few $$$
4. my damn finger makes things harder all around

I'm carrying a lot of guilt about this decision--letting people down, etc--but when I boil it all down, it's really not about the $$$ but about making sure my baby girl is safe and happy. I just can't leave her.

stops and starts

Tomorrow afternoon, once S. gets home from work, we take off once again for North Carolina. This time we're driving. Flying has just become too much of a nightmare. Though driving all the way to NC comes with its own brand of stress, at least we control the stress. And we get to stop to pee whenever we like.

S. and I have never taken a road trip of this length together. We've driven to Chicago and back many times, but this summer we're doing this trip and then we're driving to Massachusetts at the end of July. In my cute little Honda Civic. It's cute, but it's not exactly roomy.

In other unrelated news, we watched Rendition the other night. A few weeks ago, I updated my Facebook status with something like "Amy and S. watched The Savages last night and she dares anyone to name a more depressing movie." Well, folks, I found one. It's called Rendition. Slit-your-wrists depressing.

I'm not so good at watching movies without pausing 100 times. The pause button and the DVR were made for me. I guess I'm a little bit ADD. After I'd paused it four times during the first twenty minutes of Rendition, S. was getting really frustrated with me. At one point, I was saying something over the movie and he couldn't hear, so I paused it. He looks at me: what? Me: I paused it because you couldn't hear what I was saying. He: No, I couldn't hear the movie.

Then last night we took the girls out for their evening walk. Fifty feet from the house, I had to hand Annabelle over to S. because I'd tied my shoe too tight. I tied it, took her back, and realized once again that it was still too tight. So I stopped to tie it again and he went ahead with the girls. He: We haven't made it a block and you've stopped twice. It's like watching a movie with you.

I am not a city girl

This truth cannot be overstated. I was never meant to negotiate the big city. I can do it--I'm very good at not getting lost--but damn, it makes me sad. Saddest thing to me is the throngs and throngs of people. Just not for me.

I'll never go to C's in NYC again. The pain and misery of Thursday's travel was simply not worth it. I won't go into the details, but I will say that it's the layers upon layers of travel that kill me. The drive to Chicago, the shuttle from the hotel, the schlepping around the airport only to do the same thing in reverse once I got to NY. The icing on the cake was getting dropped off by my million-dollar taxi at the wrong goddamn hotel. The "W" instead of the "Doubletree." Yeah, I can see how that would be confusing. Jesus.

I don't feel like I was even at the conference. I usually come away from C's with lots of ideas, too many ideas even, but this time I made it to only a handful of panels. And jesus h. christ on rubber crutches, if I'm scheduled for Saturday at 3:30 next year, I'm gonna cry. I've never not been on Saturday. So, Mike, Becky, Donna, I'm sorry if I'm cursing our panel by being part of it: we'll likely be on Saturday, last time slot.

Bitter much?

Nah.

The good: Got to spend lots of time with the life director, got to see good friends, had some good food (went off the diet totally). But the time, the money, the energy, the sanity that has been lost as a result of the travel: it won't all get reimbursed.

I said to the Wonka on our way home, "I feel like I need to make public how much this trip has taken out of me."

Wonka: That's what the blog is for.

It was so so so good to come home to my girl and to S. I've got scratches all over both arms from the welcoming committee, and I wear them proudly.

This trip, it hurt.

resolved, part two

No big life-changing resolutions here, folks. Instead, I want to write this down for the record: I will never again travel ANYWHERE by plane without a sensible pair of shoes. Three years ago at MLA I ended up buying a cheap pair of sneakers after the first day because my feet were going to fall off if I didn't. This year at MLA, I mistakenly trusted the Hampton Inn's website description of its location as being half a block from the Marriott. Um, it was a bit more than that. So once again I purchased shoes, this time ones that I'll actually wear again, but still. I'm thinkin' the department's not gonna be reimbursing me for those anytime soon.

Had a lot of fun last night, but I feel like I need three days just to recover. Traveling makes me feel so old and crotchety. I'm beginning to really dislike huge crowds of people. I want order, not chaos. I am probably middle-aged by now (34 x 2= 68...).

Happy new year, my friends.