Okay, so that's not the best
part of Becky's visit, but it is true nonetheless.
Here are some of the highlight's of my life director's visit to the heartland.Monday night
Becky proves herself to be a cheap date when, after consuming only half
of her large frozen margarita (the waiter asks us, "small? or big?" Becky: "BIG"), we have to leave because, as she put it, if she drank anymore, the minute she got to my house, she'd tell me she loves me and fall promptly to sleep. Instead we had a tipsy shopping spree at the campus bookstore, where she bought a nifty sweatshirt and the brightest yellow ISU t-shirt I've ever seen. If you're in upstate New York and you see a moving beam of fluorescent yellow cotton, that's Becky.
Three seconds after we got into the house Becky was on the floor in my kitchen.
She claims it's because Annabelle knocked her over. I claim it's because she had half a BIG margarita. I took pictures.
BELLY LOVED HAVING BECKY HERE. ALL CAPS. Belly turned into a cat for a couple days as Becky treated her like one, stroking her gently rather than being rough-and-tumble as most people are with dogs. Belly slept with Becky most of the first night and looked for her at every turn. In short, it was true love. This morning when Becky left, Belly was obviously depressed. Poor baby girl.
Monday night Becky beat me at Scrabble. She's the kind of player I really like, who's all about points and not at all about the beauty of the words. She understands deep in her heart the importance of always playing at least two words and never using your S unless it gets you at least 8 extra points.Tuesday
I won't go through the whole day, cuz it was long and I'm still kinda exhausted from it. Breakfast with grad students. Visit to the infamous dog park, though there was no alcohol involved. Break at the house. I beat Becky at Scrabble before we went to lunch with two of my favorite colleagues. Back to the house to change into "speaking clothes," which I took to mean she'd be wearing the ridiculous yellow t-shirt, since that says a few things for itself, but nooooooooooo
. Becky had to wear a stinkin' SUIT.
HER TALK WAS SO GOOD. People have been thanking me for inviting her, and it makes me feel like somehow the quality of her presentation will be associated with ME for a while--and that's okay. I'm fine with that. She had people laughing, she had people thinking, and I had to cut off the questions after a half hour (I felt so important and shit) to give the poor woman a break. Reception. Good mingling. Back to my house with Julie Wonka. We all sat on the front porch enjoying the ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS weather and drinkin' a beer. Then finally, dinner with the Wonka and Lynn Worsham. Fun stuff. I've never seen Lynn laugh so hard. At my expense, of course, but still.
Three things I learned during Becky's visit:
1. It is a good thing to spend more than $10 on facial moisturizer. I used hers and my face felt like a new woman. Well, you know what I mean.
2. Becky's fancy spritzer hair product makes my curls last longer.
3. All things in life can be divided into the following categories: products, items, issues, deeds, events. As in, I covet Becky's products
. She covets the items
in my ears. One accomplishes certain kitchen deeds
, and traffic is never an issue
in Bloomington Normal unless there has been an event
such as the fire-gutted house we passed on our way to breakfast this morning.
Oh, and Becky gave the girl a new nickname, one that's so obvious I can't imagine why it never came out of my mouth. Belly Button.